Monday, October 24, 2011

Who's the first person you remember? - Rewrite


I’m not one of the lucky ones that has all there memories sitting in order somewhere just waiting to be looked at, mine are scattered everywhere. But the person I remember best is my brother Travis he was a few months older then me. He has always been my best friend; I would do anything he asked without question. When we were teenagers we spend almost all of our free time together, we drove all over the state and I don’t think our parent ever knew. On the way home from anywhere we shouldn’t have been we would talk about what we were going to tell our parents, I always was the one to tell them what we did because they always trusted me. It didn’t take Travis very long to know this would always work in his behalf. As the years passed I could easily create a cover story that no one would argue with. Some would say that this isn’t something healthy to teach a younger sister, but its part of who I am and I’m proud to have been handed that torch.  Travis and I look a lot alike we both have rounds faces, bright eyes and very infectious laughs. From kids to teenagers to adults we have always had this unbreakable bound; I’m one of the lucky ones because he is my brother.

1 comment:

  1. Getting there, but, oh, does the reader yearm for some dialogue: you and Travis in the car concocting a yarn, you spinning that yarn for your parents, something along those lines.

    When a writer has as much trouble with a piece as you're having with this one, my inclination is to abandon it as something that just can't have any more juice pumped into it than it already has and move along to something more promising.

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