Wednesday August 31, 2011

I need to start getting up earlier, next week Garrett’s bus will be picking him up at 7:15 am. Summer feels over and soon the day of sleeping in will be gone. I don’t think this year’s foliage will be that good, so many of the trees have already started dropping their leaves. From what I hear it has to do with some kind of fungus but I don’t know any more than that. In a few more days I get over that summer has ended and look forward to fall, my favorite time of the year. I love flannel, hooded sweatshirts and the cool crisp nights. This year my husband and I will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary. I can’t believe it’s been that long.    

Tuesday August 30, 2011

Another day another dollar, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I didn’t have to work. I guess I would go to school full time but I think that pretty much like working full time.  So either way my day is or would be full. Today I came to the conclusion that women are confusing, especially college age girls. I don’t want to call them women because they don’t ask like it. If I ever find the person that told them that acting stupid was attractive I would give them a swift kick in the ass. I really don’t know if they are doing it on purpose or at first it started off because they where naive and over the years it’s just gotten worse. But we women have come too far and worked too hard to be seen as equals to men, for those girls to act like dimwits. Maybe it isn’t as bad as I make it out to be, I just don’t know.          

Monday August 29, 2011

Long day at work today, now that all the students have returned the business has really picked up. The whole day it felt like there was no way to catch up. After a day like today I would have loved to have a cigarette, but it’s been five weeks can’t start up now. I think cigarettes will be my demon that I have to lock in the basement for the rest of my life. Where did the summer go, half of the leaves have already fallen and it isn’t even September yet.  Today is the 1^st day of school let the stressing begin, it happens every semester I don’t know why I keep doing it to myself. I put so much presser on myself, I feel that I should get an A in every class and if I don’t I better have a great excuse. I know getting good grades isn’t going to get me a better job. Maybe it has to do with high school I didn’t try at all and now I have to relearn everything because I was a slacker. The other reason I think a high GPA will help when I transfer to UMO. Nevertheless I do know that it only me that I have to please at the end of the day.

Autobiography of the writer as a writer

The first writing assignment of the class, now the feeling of panic overcomes me.  I have a healthy fear of writing. I always feel like I’m doing something wrong or forgetting how it’s should be done.  My writing style, I don’t have one, well unless you call chopping and dull a style. I tend to use the same words over and over. My ideas sound so good in my head but when I sit down to write it gets stuck and comes out all wrong.  I never really understood English in middle/high school but I was too embarrassed to ask for help. The only thing in high school I felt I could do well was poetry.  The amazing thing about poetry is you didn’t need complete sentences there was no need for paragraphs and no one would complain if you used the same word in each line.  The years have passed and the troubles of a teen have long gone I don’t have enough desperation or anguish to write moving poems anymore. Now that I’m 33 I have decided that I want better than simple poems or sloppy papers, so I try a little harder and bought a few self-help grammar and writing books.  

Second Person

Panic it has overcome you; you sit down to a dusty computer looking out the window to see leaves falling, school has started. You fear yourself, your writing and the drive to pass this class. Will your writing ever get better? Are you always going to second guess your writing? Will your brain ever tell your fingers what needs to be said? Forgetting high school was something you could easily do, now its time you lose the fear failure. Its time you move forward from the effortless poems to paragraphs and complete sentences. 

Third Person

She was stricken by an overwhelming feeling of panic. She is looking past her computer to the fall day outside. Her shoulders slump and she knows schools here. She sits with her fingers on the keyboard thinking what to say, will it come out right? She could sit there filled with self doubt or she could take a deep breath and know her best is good enough. Then the light turned on in her head and she began typing without looking back on the cloud of regret floating away with the leaves.