Sex, drugs, rock and roll! week 12

I don’t understand why everyone dreams of being a rock star when they grow up. That life looks so unappealing, sleeping on bunk bed in the back of a bus or in a different hotel bed every night. It would be nice to have men and women for that matter throw themselves at you all the time, but that so much presser. Did you choose the prettiest one, the one that’s least crazy and the one that doesn’t secretly want to kill you? The next hard choose is do you secretly record yourself having sex and put it on the internet, will this help your career or hurt it. You may never know.

            The life of a drug user can’t be pretty, a life revolving around your next fix. I don’t want to have to worry about shitting myself, and looking like death warmed over. I don’t think I could ever do a drug that’s named after my own ass. I by no means live my life on the strait and narrow but I like who I am and don’t want a bunch of drug changing me into another person. Well unless I get paid a crap load of money then I would reconsider.      

     

The life of a rock star or any star for that matter must so changeling you are constantly being judged and criticized. There is no way to make everyone happy, I know this is true in everyone life. But my audience is very small and I know they will love my anyway, that isn’t true for the rock star. 

The door slammed, and I never looked back. week 12

I look up at the clock it’s quarter till nine, I’m patiently sitting in American History class waiting for it to be over. I really hate having to leave work and rush into Bangor for a six o’clock class but I love going Zack house after for a drink. It makes for a perfect ender for the evening. I pack my book bag and make the long walk back to my car. I turn my phone back on. I was just about to call Zack to see if he wanted anything at the store but I decided to just buy a six pack he doesn’t care what we drink.

I walk out of the store with a 6 pack of Magic Hat and I light a cigarette as soon as I get into the car, shut the door, and started the engine. I pull into the drive way, Zack ex girlfriend car is in drive way. I hope this isn’t going to be awkward.

I walk onto the porch and push the front door open. I step over the threshold and close the door behind me, I look around the room, and I can’t see anyone. Then I finally make eye contact with Zack, oh god he completely naked. It takes me a few seconds to understand what it happening, I put my hands over my eyes and I hear the door slam.

I yell “I’m going to leave; I think that’s for the best.”  

50 Ways to Leave Your Lover! week 12

1)      It’s not me it’s you.

2)      It’s not you it’s me.

3)      My name use to be David.

4)      I had a dream last night that I need to become a nun.

5)      Become a lesbian.

6)      Get a tattoo on your face.

7)      Pretend to have tourettes and swear at him all the time.

8)      Stop taking showers.

9)      Save money by not shaving anymore.

10)  Grow a mustache.

11)  Start dressing like a man.

12)  Tell him you had an affair.

13)  Spend all his money.

14)  Be mean to his mother.

15)  Tell him you want 10 kids.

16)  Explain that monogamy isn’t for you.

17)  Ask him if your boyfriend can move in.

18)  Stop having sex with him.

19)  Tell him that your parents are moving in.

20)  Change your status on Facebook.

21)  Stop talking about anything important.

22)  Be brutal honest.

23)  Become a hoarder.

24)  Contact TLC and have your life turned into a reality show.

25)  Develop a drinking problem.

26)  Become a drug addict.

27)  Tell him you have a STD.

28)  Give his a STD.

29)  Just move out.

30)  Pack up his stuff.

31)  Start talking to yourself.

32)  Watch him while he’s sleeping.

33)  We have nothing in common.

34)  Convince him it’s what he wants.

35)  Say you can no longer live a lie.

36)  I’m no longer the person you feel in love with.

37)  You’re no longer the person I feel in love with.

38)  I’m not sure if I have ever loved you.

39)  I’m still in love with my ex.

40)  Pretend you have amnesia.

41)  Explain that you want to become a stripper.

42)  Develop a gambling problem.

43)  Get arrested and go to jail for a while.

44)  Go into the witness protection program.

45)  Become very religious.

46)  Gain 50 pounds.

47)  Tell him you are no longer attracted to him.

48)  I want to see other people.

49)  I hope we can still be friends.

50)  Or you can just pretend everything is O.K. and do nothing.

Week 12 Theme:

I walk around the corner and there he is, covered in blood up to his elbows. As I scan the room I start feeling very overwhelmed, is that a ribcage? What the hell is going on in here? I look at him he has a smile on his face that I haven’t seen in years, and then I hear a chuck of meat hit the bottom of a bucket. I need to sit down then I hear the music playing in the background, how could I have missed that? As I sit and listen it starts getting loader and loader, of course he would be listening to country music. Is this really my life?    

I take a deep breath; I smell a mixture of iron and decaying flesh. Thank god I have a brand new bottle of bleach, because I’m going to have to bleach everything. I don’t want anything to do with this, but I have already sat down. So I bury my disgust of this whole situation and tell myself I need to get over this. I look back at him and smile.

 “So did any of the other guys get a deer?”