My eyes open its 6 am, what are
those kids arguing about? I’m only half listen because I really want to go back
to sleep.
“Garrett STOP that going to bankrupt me.” said
Logan
“No it isn’t” Garrett said knowing that he was
annoying Logan.
At that point I know they are
playing Monopoly on the X-box. Kids these days don’t even play board games
anymore. I finally close my eyes and I fall back to sleep.
Then I hear Logan say “GARRETT
you made me lose.”
Ok I’m up, I look at the clock its
7am. I can’t believe this, I only have two days that I get to sleep in and I’m
up at 7. It cold this morning, I move to the kitchen I need some coffee. I look
into the living room at my son and say
“It’s cold enough that I might
need to dig my slippers out.” and he didn’t even hear me.
There is no point in repeating myself.
So now the coffee is made I sit down at
my desk to see what’s going on in the world of Facebook. Logan walks into my
room and asks
“Can I play on the computer?’
“What do you want to play?
Because the last time you played on the computer you downloaded some kind of virus.”
“I want to play gonzo games.”
I think to myself that I don’t want
him to play but I also don’t want to hear him whine about not being able to do
anything fun.
“Ok, you can but don’t download
anything.”
Back to my computer nothing
happening on Facebook this early on a Saturday. I think I should make a good breakfast
for the boys today. I really don’t like to cook, I’m not a bad cook but I work
full time as a cook I don’t want to do it when I get home. I pull everything
out and start cooking. As I’m cooking the boys start to argue again
“Garrett you are shooting it too
far into the air.” Logan says in a very bossy tone.
“No I’m not; look it hit its
target”
“GARRETT you are wasting all the
fuel”
“Look at how high it went, see I
won this round.”
‘But you’re wasting all the fuel.”
At this point I can’t handle the
banter back and forth.
“Logan stop yelling at Garrett!!!”
Logan gives me a very frustrated look then reply’s
“But Amy he is making us lose”
“Logan you don’t have to yell at
him”
“But when I’m really mad it’s
hard to be nice.”
“I know that but you need to try
harder”
Everything is ready only thing
left is the toast.
“Garrett do you want jelly on
your toast?’ I ask my son.
“WHAT?”
“Do you want jelly on your toast?”
“Yes”
“Do you want blueberry or strawberry-rhubarb?”
I wait for a little bit.
“Garrett?”
“What?”
“What kind of jelly do you want?”
“What kinds are there?”
“Garrett I have already told you blueberry
or strawberry-rhubarb.”
“Blueberry”
‘OK Logan what kind do you want?”
Again I have to wait.
“Logan what kind do you want?”
“Blueberry”
At this point I had wished I made
them eat cereal.
“OK kids breakfast is ready’
“Can we eat at the computer?” my son
asks me.
“No, was eating at the table”
I pour the boys some milk and we
start eating. They are eating it so fast that you would have though they never
had seen food.
“You guys need to slow down.” I
tell the kids.
Garrett replies “I just really
hungry”
“Would you eat that fast if I
told you no computer after breakfast?”
With a smirk on his face and
slowly says “I think so.”
Logan is the first one done he puts
his plant on the side board, and then Garrett’s done next. Now Garrett and
Logan are back to their computer game. I’m finally ready to get up from the
table that’s when I see that both kids didn’t even touch there toast. That’s when
I know that today is going to be a great day.
And I felt sorry for myself that I have six dogs waking me up every morning....
ReplyDeleteWith a piece like this you only get one bite at the apple--you have to choose which snatch of dialogue does the better job conveying the way the boys interact, but it's low-impact material so you don't double the punch by doubling the length. YOu either compress the two 'bites' you've taken--the computer games and the breakfast, or you choose one to focus on. My guess is that the breakfast material would work best.
Please don't misunderstand--I'm simply commenting now, not asking for a rewrite. This assignment is done.