1) Buy
your license or not. As long as you’re ok with a fine if caught.
2) Pack
a cooler with water and food or just beer.
3) Find
someone with a boat (hopefully it has a motor) and a truck to pull it with.
4) On
the way to the lake buy some bait.
5) Once
at the lake safely place the boat in the water and then carefully get into the
boat.
6) This
is the key to good fishing; you need to drive the boat around till you get a
feeling that there are fish in the spot. Or you could do a little trolling
while you find the fish.
7) After
you have found the spot now it’s time to place the bait on the hook. Please
keep in mind this could be a little gross but the fish really like those warms.
8) Now
is the perfect time to open a beer or whatever you maybe drinking.
9) Casting
your line can be a little tricking the best advice is to keep it away from your
friends’ faces.
10) Now
this is when the fun really starts, you just sit and wait. We know there are
fish here because remember back to step 6 and the feeling you had. This is when
it gets put to the test.
11) When
you feel a little tug on the line, we are all hoping that it’s a fish because
it could also be a stump, plants or just about anything. At this point you may
also get that feeling, if you do then go with it.
12) Let
the line out slowly then give it a quick pull. Now we start reeling it in.
13) Yeah
it’s a fish. Now you let it flop around on the bottom of the boat for a little
while.
14) Unlucky
for you this is a Yellow Perch, cute but you don’t want to eat it.
15) Now
we have two ways to get the fish of our hook. There’s the nice way and then
there’s the lazy way. Let’s go with the nice way first, watch out the gills they
are very sharp, place fish in your hand hold it as tight as you can so it doesn’t
move around and gently pull the hook out or the lazy/very mean way is to beat
the fish off the side of the boat till he falls off your line.
16)Now it’s time to repeat step 6 through 16 over
and over till you get the fish you want or the sun starts going down.
Phew, not much of a fisherperson, eh?
ReplyDeleteThese mock instructions do the job very nicely, working the sarcasm in subtly and conveying your distaste for the whole process. You control the tone perfectly, always tricky with humor and sarcasm, staying on the right side of the line (on the wrong side of the line, the reader feels manipulated and forced to accept the writer's view and so resists the writing.)