I have been a part time college student since
2007 spending my weekends and evenings with my nose in a book or my fingers on
a key board. I have opted to sacrifice
my free time, my T.V. time and my lay around with a good book time. I tell
myself this is to better my future to get my dream job and finally settle into
my career, to make the money that my talent so deserves. But is it really that
simply, your whole life you hear as long as you graduate college you will land your
perfect job. When’s the last time you
looked for a job?
I
still haven’t picked a major I’m having a hard time mapping out my future, my favorite
question for anyone I meet in college is “What’s your Major?” followed closely
by “What kind of job can you get with that degree?” The answer most of the time,
I don’t know. That’s one of the reasons
why I haven’t been able to choose my major. What if I choose the wrong degree? What kind
of job will that degree provide me in this area? How big will my student loans
be? What kind of money can I make? What if I take 10 years to get my bachelor's
degree and I hate my new job? I wonder if I can keep going at this pace, but I
have to telling myself don’t stop. I
have been going for so long now I think if I stopped, I don’t believe I could
make myself go back.
I
can imagine my graduation day. It’s a beautiful day in May we all make our way
to the University of Maine; I take my set in the midst of children just a
little older then my son waiting for my name to be called. I hold my degree in my hand make my way back
to my seat. I did it, it took me so long but I did it. I’ll wipe the tears and
wait till the ceremony is over. I make
my way through the crowd of families hugging and friends saying their goodbyes.
I find my family we all hug and while I continue to cry. My wonderful parents
finial get to trough me that graduation party, everyone makes me show them my
degree, I hold on to it all afternoon like it’s my badge of honor. We drink big
drinks and we dream big dreams of what comes next.
The
next day is what I really fear, I will no longer be dreaming of what comes next
because I have just opened the book and I’m starting my new chapter one. I will
have to go, explore the world finding what to do next instead of sitting and
being taught. I can’t just let the next
Monday come and wait for something to change. Going to school and learning was
the easy part, taken what you have learned and proving yourself is a completely
new and unfamiliar challenge.
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ReplyDeleteSo interesting to read weeks 9 & 10 together. Week 9, this piece, is a corker--you are front and center in every word. Every word and idea here is alive, has breath and spirit, is heartfelt, gives the reader a portrait of you and the problem, and gives the reader in addition the sense of being completely in the hands of a writer who knows what she is doing.
ReplyDeleteIt's a charming piece, the last two grafs particularly.
Now, compare it to week 10, a sort of companion piece, dealing with some of the same problems and worries. But week 10 is not really about you at all. In it you reflexively use 'you' instead of 'I' and the writing winds up being impersonal, thin, two-dimensional.
With week 9, we feel we are reading something important to you. With week 10 we feel a bit of your desperation to finish an unwanted assignment.
Well, fortunately for you, week 9 is all I can think of!